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May 03, 2005

Shameless Link Pimpage

Since I'm new to this neighborhood, I decided to take a look at the referrer logs - to try and see where y'all come from.

Ordinarily, checking out the referrer logs is what self-obsessed tiny bloggers do before they become big (Damn! That guy from Pixy Misa's site quit stopping by!) or what big bloggers do when they haven't a clue. Kinda like one of Lileks' self-consciously mailed in columns. But I'm new to the neighborhood, so I thought I'd look to see who lives here.

Okay. First guy got here with a Google Search for Nice Ass. I'm not sure what's more disturbing - that those key words brought him *here*, or that he clicked through four pages of Google Links to "nice ass" sites before he got here. Eeeeeewww. Doesn't that make you feel dirty just thinking about it?

Then there's Barred Owl replaces spotted owl. Looks like the bird blogging is really paying off, eh Bigwig?

Then there's cnn fur jlo. At first it seemed this might be vaguely related to the "Nice Ass" search guy, but it doesn't seem to be. But it could be related to this MILITARY CHICKS link.

Okay. It's been two minutes, and it's starting to get depressing. Is everybody out there a pervert? And if so, how come I didn't know this when I was a single guy and dating? What was I missing out on?

We continue.

[BTW, the #2 site on that "military chicks" google search was this site. Oh, sweet Jesus, don't let Kim du Toit see that one. His Missus will be after me with the shotgun(s).]

The next search was Monkey Names. Evidently, somebody checked out Bigwig's jeremiad* about latin primate naming conventions. My understanding of the argument is that Bigwig thinks monkeys should be named after the politicians they most look like. Bonus points for anybody who can name, in comments, politicians who look like monkeys, apes, chimps, etc. Their bodyguards don't count, and you will be banned permanently if you name George Bush. We've all heard that one before.

*Okay, fine, Bigwig's entry was really an Obadiad, if anything. Double bonus points for anybody who understands that reference.

Then there was this disturbing search: "If ponies rode men and grass ate cows." Contrary to my initial thoughts, this wasn't some really deviant bastard looking for p(r)*n, but the lyrics to "The World Turned Upside Down," a song played by Cornwallis at Yorktown, and now another Google Search dominated by Silflay Hraka.

Other great searches landing lucky readers here include:
- What are in the biomes of the Sasquatch?
- Make your own crayons
- Why men should not marry
- Tits (the 30th page of "tits" links. The Hraka entry was an innocent entry about little birds, but I'd rather not discuss the surrounding links. God, who clicks through 300 prono links in one go... Eeeeeewwwwww.)
- Shemale blog
- Pissing
- The uncelebrated jumping frog.

What this little exercise shows, is that there are some freaky bastards out there surfing the web.

It also convinced me that this is one of the more interesting and eclectic corners of the digital world, a bit like an upscale Fred Sanford's place, filled with a lot of worthwhile junk and funny people dropping in and out all the time. It gives me an idea of the stuff that would fit in well here - just about anything. And for a really good post, the David Allen Coe Perfect Country and Western Song of Silflay Hraka Posts, it should be about shemales with uncelebrated frog tits that pissing men should not marry, unless ponies ride them but fear owls owned by military chicks who have J-Lo's fur and nice asses.

There. I'll google that in a week and see if I can get it to pop up in the referrer logs. Odds are, it's a Googlewhack, but you never know. Maybe there's someplace else on the web that has a similar vibe to this place, but I doubt it.

Posted by Blackavar at May 3, 2005 10:21 PM | TrackBack
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I'm amazed you didn't see anything for "ballchinians."

Posted by: Bigwig at May 4, 2005 11:13 AM
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