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November 17, 2004

Adventures in Journalism: Mr. Language Stickler

Among the AP's many other sins, the service seems to have forgotten the definition of the word "naked," i.e. "Having no clothing on the body; nude."

Why else would this caption, "Naked farmers from Veracruz protest, Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2004, in Mexico City. The farmers were demanding the Institutional Revolutionary Party, or PRI return their land that the PRI government seized between 1992-1998 in the state of Veracruz. (AP Photo/Eduardo Verdugo)" accompany a photo where the farmers depicted are at worst still semi-clothed?

Surely the photo editor could have employed the enduring oxymoron "partially nude,” instead of the exactly incorrect "naked," or was he/she distracted by the strapping manflesh on display?* Was only the top third portion of the photograph available for inspection prior to press time, or did the prim and proper souls at the AP refuse to inspect the picture any further once navels had been displayed?

"Best just to assume they're nude, Miss Perkins. Once we start scanning for naughty bits, we might as well be ABC."

But on to more important matters. What's the deal with all the tighty-whities and....greenie monokinis? Are boxers just not in fashion south of the border? Do the protestors realize that the electrostactic charge generated by the polyester in their briefs is killing off millions of their little dudes?

Could the answer to the previous question be "Yes, gringo, we know all about the spermaticidal effects of the blancos apretados. Our donning of them symbolizes the death of our future unless the government returns the land it stole from us!"

If so, I expect I need to buy stock in Fruit of the Loom, as all the fashionable anti-globalistas will be wearing them at the next World Bank protest.

*Not a concern for Mr. Language Stickler, as he fulfills his daily quota of strapping manflesh by lovingly gazing into the bathroom mirror each morning.

Posted by Bigwig at November 17, 2004 12:44 PM | TrackBack
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Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and formal education positively fortifies it. Stephen Vizinczey

Posted by: credit card debt consolidation program at November 22, 2004 11:26 PM
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