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September 16, 2004

I Think It Means She Can Blog With Either Hand

AmbivaBlog, a blog with rare taste when it comes to their choice for "best blogs" captures the essence of what I've thought for a long time is the nature of the undecided voter.

It's not that they're stupid. It's that they despise both the choices offered up to them this year.

There he was, this beady-eyed, perky, eager little guy, swimming in the mantle of grandeur that had been draped on him, like Mickey Mouse as the Sorcerer's Apprentice, sending the buckets and mops marching off to war. Only late in his speech, when he spoke with wonder about the sacrifices of our soldiers and got genuinely emotional, did he connect from the heart.

But I'm an equal-opportunity insulter. I can't stand the way, when you ask John Kerry a question, he rears back and shows the whites of his eyes, like a spooked horse. You know that behind those eyes he's rapidly calculating how to trim and triangulate his answer so it won't offend any possible constituency. Actually, now the look in his eyes is more fatalistic, like that of a moose that's been hamstrung by wolves that are circling in for the kill.

Who would you prefer to vote for--Beady Eyed Mickey or Hamstrung Moose?

Have to admit that I find the mental of Kerry as Bullwinkle moaning while he's devoured alive by wolves to be awfully appealing--but then I always hated Bullwinkle.

Besides, if Kerry is Bullwinkle, then John Edwards is Rocky, and there's kind a of family resemblance in the toothal areas, if you get my drift.

Which makes Dick Cheney none other than....well, you know who.

Postscript: But surely there's only one sorcerer's apprentice allowed per family.

Posted by Bigwig at September 16, 2004 01:11 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.
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