Front page
Archive
Silflay Hraka?


Bigwig is a systems administrator at a public university
Hrairoo is the proprietor of a quality used bookstore
Kehaar works at a regional newspaper
Woundwort is a professor of counseling at a private university

The Hraka RSS feed

Email
bigwig AT nc.rr.com

Friends of Hraka
InstaPundit
Daily Pundit
cut on the bias
Meryl Yourish
This Blog Is Full Of Crap
Winds of Change
A Small Victory
Silent Running
Dr. Weevil
Little Green Footballs
ColdFury
Oceanguy
Fragments from Floyd
VodkaPundit
Allah
The Feces Flinging Monkey
Dean's World
Little Tiny Lies
The Redsugar Muse
Sperari
Natalie Solent
From the Mrs.
ErosBlog
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
On the Third Hand
Public Nuisance
Not a Fish
Rantburg
AMCGLTD
WeckUpToThees!
Electric Venom
Skippy, The Bush Kangaroo
Common Sense and Wonder
Neither Here Nor There
Wizbang!
Bogieblog
ObscuroRant
RocketJones
The Greatest Jeneration
Ravenwolf
Ipse Dixit
TarHeelPundit
Blog On the Run
blogatron
Redwood Dragon
Notables
Greeblie Blog
Have A Cuppa Tea
A Dog's Life
IMAO
Zonitics.com
Iberian Notes
Midwest Conservative Journal
A Voyage to Arcturus
HokiePundit
Trojan Horseshoes
In Context
dcthornton.blog
The People's Republic of Seabrook
Country Store
Blog Critics
Chicago Boyz
Hippy Hill News
Kyle Still Free Press
The Devil's Excrement
The Fat Guy
War Liberal
Assume the Position
Balloon Juice
Iron Pen In A Velvet Glove
IsraPundit
Freedom Lives
Where Worlds Collide
Knot by Numbers
How Appealing
South Knox Bubba
Heretical Ideas
The Kitchen Cabinet
Dustbury.com
tonecluster
Bo Cowgill
mtpolitics.net
Raving Atheist
The Short Strange Trip
Shark Blog
Hoplites
Jimspot
Ron Bailey's Weblog
Cornfield Commentary
Testify!
Northwest Notes
pseudorandom
The Blog from the Core
Ain'tNoBadDude
CroMagnon
The Talking Dog
WTF Is It Now??
Blue Streak
Smarter Harper's Index
nikita demosthenes
Bloviating Inanities
Sneakeasy's Joint
Ravenwood's Universe
The Eleven Day Empire
World Wide Rant
All American
Pdawwg
The Rant
The Johnny Bacardi Show
The Head Heeb
Viking Pundit
Mercurial
Oscar Jr. Was Here
Just Some Poor Schmuck
Katy & Bruce Loebrich
But How's The Coffee?
Roscoe Ellis
Foolsblog
Sasha Castel
Dodgeblogium
Susskins Central Dispatch
DoggerelPundit
Josh Heit
Attaboy
Aaron's Rantblog
MojoMark
As I was saying...
Blog O' Dob
Dr. Frank's Blogs Of War
Betsy's Page
A Knob for Brightness
Fresh Bilge
The Politburo Diktat
Drumwaster's rants
Curt's Page
The Razor
An Unsealed Room
The Legal Bean
Helloooo chapter two!
As I Was Saying...
SkeptiLog AGOG!
Tong family blog
Vox Beth
Velociblog
I was thinking
Judicious Asininity
This Woman's Work
Fragrant Lotus
DaGoddess
Single Southern Guy
Caerdroia
GrahamLester.Com
Jay Solo's Verbosity
TacJammer
Snooze Button Dreams
Horologium
You Big Mouth, You!
From the Inside looking Out
Night of the Lepus
No Watermelons Allowed
From The Inside Looking Out
Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics
Suburban Blight
Aimless
The SmarterCop
Dog of Flanders
From Behind the Wall of Sleep
Beaker's Corner
Bad State of Gruntledness
Who Tends The Fires
Granny Rant
Elegance Against Ignorance
Moxie.nu
Eccentricity
Say What?
Blown Fuse
Wait 'til Next Year
The Pryhills
The Whomping Willow
The National Debate
The Skeptician
Zach Everson
MonkeyWatch
Geekward Ho
Argghhh!!!
Life in New Orleans
Rotten Miracles
Fringe
The Biomes Blog
illinigirl
See What You Share
Truthprobe
Blog dElisson
Your Philosophy Sucks
Watauga Rambler
Socialized Medicine
Consternations
Verging on Pertinence
Read My Lips
ambivablog
Soccerdad
The Flannel Avenger
Butch Howard's WebLog
Castle Argghhh!
Andrew Hofer
kschlenker.com
Moron Abroad
White Pebble
Darn Floor
Wizblog
tweedler
Pajama Pundits
BabyTrollBlog
Cadmusings
Goddess Training 101
A & W
Medical Madhouse
Slowly Going Sane
The Oubliette
American Future
Right Side Redux
See The Donkey
Newbie Trucker
The Right Scale
Running Scared
Ramblings Journal
Focus On Reality
Wyatt's Torch

September 08, 2004

Mad Ali!

Now that France has declared itself the largest Muslim state in Europe, it's time to update that country's image. Since many people gain their first impressions of the world from reading or being read to at an early age, we'll start by updating some classic children's literature.


Mad Ali

In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines
lived twelve jihadis in two straight lines.
In two straight lines they cursed the West,
brushed their teeth and made suicide vests.

They smiled at the bad and frowned at the good.
Blood and death gave them all raging wood.
They went to the mosque at half past three
in two straight lines. They disdained brie--
the smallest one was Mad Ali.

A Western throat he longed to slice
or sever with an explosive device.
To each child he saw out on the Rue,
Mad Ali said, "Die Jew!"
His heart was black.
The thought of him frightened Miss Chirac.

In the middle of the night
Miss Chirac turned on her light
and said, "Something is not right!"
Little Mad Ali sat in bed
laughed and laughed, but his eyes were dead.

And soon after came Dr. Cohn
Who then rushed out to the phone.
He dialed; DAN-ton-ten-six--
"Nurse!" he said, "Inside him--something ticks!"

Everyone said "Not to worry!
He will soon be with a houri!"
Mad Ali was full of glee
For in Paradise soon he would be.

But Dr. Cohn, the damned Jew,
Thought he knew what he could do.
He hung up, then called the gendarme.
They would surely keep him from harm.

Two men arrived, all dressed in blue
Their badges read "Mustapha" and "Al Halou."
They took Dr. Cohn out through the door.
And Ali heard from him no more.

In a car with a red light
they drove him out into the night.
Mad Ali woke up two hours
later, in a room with flowers.

Mad Ali soon ate and drank.
On his bed there was a crank,
and a crack on the ceiling above his bed
looked just like a severed head.
On the news he saw Dr. Cohn was dead
of blunt force trauma, so it was said.

One nice morning Miss Chirac said nervously,
"Should we go visit Mad Ali?"
"Visitors from Two to Four" read a sign outside his door.
Tiptoeing with solemn face,
and plastique hidden in a vase,
in they walked and then said "AHHH"
when they saw the guns, money and praise from Al-Fatah.

But the biggest surprise by far-
on his stomach was a scar!
"Alu Akbar!" they said, "Our god is great!
"He sups on heathen blood and hate!"

They went home and broke their bread
cleaned their guns and went to bed.
But in the middle of the night,
Miss Chiraq turned on the light
and said, " Something is not right!"

And petrified of a disaster,
Miss Chirac ran fast, and faster
and prostrate, she begged, "Please children do--
tell me what I can do for you?"
and all the jihadis cried, "Boohoo,
we want to kill Jew doctors too!"

"Good night little ones!
Tomorrow you leave for Iraq
and now go to sleep!"
said Miss Chirac.
and she turned out the light--
and closed the door---
and that's all there is---
there isn't anymore.

Watch for the further adventures of Mad Ali!

Mad Ali and The Bad Hat - Mad Ali changes the course of an election when he kidnaps the son of the Spanish Ambassador.
Mad Ali's Rescue - Mad Ali is shamed when a filthy canine pulls him from the Seine.
Mad Ali in London - Mad Ali smuggles AK-7s into the Finsbury Park Mosque.
Mad Ali in America - His unrequited lust for Eloise leads Mad Ali to crash a Boeing 747 into the Plaza Hotel.
Mad Ali's Christmas - Mad Ali ends his caroling with a bang!
Mad Ali Sans Merci - Why the reader should be polite to Arabs, or else.
Mad Ali And The Gypsies - Or was it Jews? Same difference, really. Same outcome, certainly.

Posted by Bigwig at September 8, 2004 01:10 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.
Comments

The Moulin Rouge is still working out how to Can-Can in abayas.

Posted by: Laurence Simon at September 8, 2004 02:24 PM

As someone who has wallowed in Madelineiana since my daughter was 2 (she recently turned 6), I'm just jealous I didn't think of this first.

Posted by: Lex at September 8, 2004 04:10 PM

Sometimes slogging through those kids' books over and over again can result in some really creative processes. Good stuff.

Posted by: Yomama at September 9, 2004 10:07 AM
Post a comment Note: Comments with more than two dashes per line will be blocked as spam.









Remember personal info?