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August 19, 2004

French Answer: Je Me Rends!

Just got this in the e-mail--no idea of the original source.

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican? What with elections coming up, we should all decide. Here is a test that will help.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Democratic Answer(s):

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 911?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.


Republican Answer: BANG!

Southern Republican Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"
----
Competition for the Hraka gun enthusiasts: Identify which model Glock is being used in the joke above. Free no-prize to the first correct answer. Yes, I have some idea what the hell I'm talking about.

Posted by Bigwig at August 19, 2004 11:10 AM | TrackBack
Postscript:
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.
Comments

Based on the number of rounds fired, I'd guess either Glock 33 (.357cal) or Glock 27 (.40cal) as both hold 9 (8 in mag and 1 in chamber).

Posted by: Mason at August 19, 2004 11:29 AM

i go with the post ban 40cal too, though, if said person had looked, he might have been able to find a pre-ban weapon with a bigger mag capacity!!! BTW, the ban expires soon. The folks at NPR were having a hissy fit about it.

Posted by: ronin at August 19, 2004 01:23 PM

Hey, that actually resembles a police shooting case in Greensboro that some lawyer friends of mine defended. The community activists said that the cops should never have shot the man - who was buckass nekkid, carrying a 12" butcher knife, and charging. There was much racialist outcry over the event. On the positive side of the coin, it got a bunch of racialists off the street, and onto the city council, where all racialist agitators belong.

Posted by: Blackavar at August 19, 2004 06:59 PM

I'll say Glock 23 (like mine) with a new magazine. The 23 is a compact .40 cal. Much easier to carry than a full size.

Posted by: Mumblix Grumph at August 20, 2004 05:59 AM

I dunno how y'all carry those tiny little Glocks. I've been a Sig man for a long time, due to the much more humanely shaped (larger, wider, thicker)grips. Yes, that's right, I'm a charter member of the Fat Hands & Torn Thumb Webbing Former Glock Owners of America Club. My hams, er, hands, are just to big for those little pistols.

Besides, they feel kinda "whippy" - a little to light to be stable and aimed smoothly - kinda like trying to shoot trap with a short barrelled field shotgun. Maybe that's why whenever you see a Glock in the movies, the shooters are firing them in pairs, holding them rotated 90 degrees counterclockwise, and running/jumping/diving/tumbling through the air while shootiing. Must be the recoil...

Posted by: Blackavar at August 20, 2004 08:22 AM

Between the two choices, which of the guns above could accomodate Winchester Silver Tips? Or do the silver tips come in both calibers?

Posted by: Kehaar at August 20, 2004 12:20 PM

Heh. Too bad it wasn't a Glock 18 and a couple 33 rounders...

Posted by: andy at August 22, 2004 12:55 PM
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