Silflay Hraka: Europäische ToilettecNachrichten

March 15, 2004

Europäische ToilettecNachrichten

European Trains are: modern, high-tech, fast, leisurely, user-friendly, elegant, efficient, comfortable, appealing.

Except for the ones where the toilet empties directly onto the tracks, of course.

A German train passenger on his way to buy a car in the Netherlands, unwittingly dumped 11,000 euros ($13,530) down the train toilet, Dutch police said on Saturday. "While using the loo, his 11,000 euros fell out of his clothes and disappeared down the toilet landing on the railway track," police spokesman Peter van Raaij said.

Yep, nothing like using the bathroom in what amounts to a high speed outhouse when it comes to inspiring thoughts of "high-tech" and "elegant" in the passenger's mind.

"You see new toilet hole in bathroom, Natasha? It now glass lined and greased for easy egress of feces onto tracks! Plus, is wider for corpulent Anerican tourists. No more sludge-slugs to snake! Very high-tech!"

"Da, Boris! Am feeling like princess everytime I wipe!"

"Is gut! Am having contract with Der Speigel to produce German Scheisse video of new toilets in action, with slo-mo video of fecal matter impacting on tracks at 120 kph! You will be star of show! Bigger than Dieter!"

"Boris, darling! We get moose and squirrel for sure, this time!"

Posted by Bigwig at March 15, 2004 01:28 PM | TrackBack

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Comments

Heh. This is nothing new; train toilets have always dumped directly on the tracks. I don't think Amtrak's do any more, but I haven't checked; certainly fifteen years ago they did.

British trains used to have signs in the toilets: "Kindly do not flush while the train is in the station." German ones too. This is why.

Regards,
Ric Locke

Posted by: Ric Locke at March 15, 2004 10:22 PM

Usually the conductors will lock the door to the toilet while in station, but sometimes they forget which gives the people standing on the train platform a birds-eye view of what it's like to live in a septic tank. Yuck!

Posted by: El-ahrairah at March 16, 2004 12:42 PM

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