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December 13, 2003

Why, Not Even One In Ten Knows The Meaning Of "Judenrein"

German Defense Minister Peter Struck declared Saturday that American soldiers were unprepared for their mission in Iraq and needed training in "nation building" to help Iraq on the road to democracy.

The minister was particular dismissive of a reported shortage in the number of shower heads available to the American troops.

"Zyklon-B doesn't aerate itself, you know," Struck pointed out. "The lack of such an item is indicative of the general insincerity of the American effort when it comes to the stabilization of Iraq. We'd have been years stabilizing Poland and the Ukraine without showerheads to effectively disperse the chemicals."

The minister then listed a number of countries in which Germany had promoted the growth of post-war democracy--in a voice he claimed only dogs could hear. This was in order to avoid being misquoted, Struck later explained.

He said German soldiers sent to Afghanistan on a peacekeeping mission get special training. There are about 2,000 German soldiers in the 5,700-strong International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) in Afghanistan.

"They are clearly prepared for (nation-building)," Struck said. "Our soldiers that go to Kabul are schooled about the mentality and history of the country, and also know the differences between the different population groups."

"Because if a soldier don't know the differences between the different population groups," Struck explained. "He doesn't know the proper way to kill them. For instance, one would not line up more than three Roma before using a single bullet to kill them all--the occipital bones are just too thick. At best, one would only wound the fourth Roma, necessitating the use of another bullet. Done with proper German efficiency, two bullets should kill six Roma, or cause an entire French division to surrender. It is these things that we can teach the Americans."

Posted by Bigwig at December 13, 2003 10:36 PM | TrackBack
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Comments

I wonder if they are going to help us in developing a final solution for Iraq?

Oh, nevermind. Maybe they'll just help us capture Saddam.

Posted by: Blackavar at December 14, 2003 08:04 AM

Hmmm... I'm getting slow. The irony of a German military official lecturing the U.S. on the importance of knowing the difference between various ethnic groups took about five minutes to sink in.

FYI, U.S. troops do a lot of training on peacekeeping and nation-building type missions. They bitch "we aren't trained for this" but the general principles are trained at military training centers such as JRTC (Louisiana), Ft. Irwin, CA, and Grafenwoehr, Germany - which U.S. units rotate through once or twice annually, depending on how many nations they are busy building at any one time.

Posted by: Blackavar at December 14, 2003 08:06 AM
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