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October 30, 2003

Old Growler

Beer of the Night

The beer of the night was supposed to have been the Augustinian Ale, a bottle conditioned ale produced by the brewery that also makes Old Growler, Nethergate, but by the time I looked up from the evening's surfing the contents of the pint in front of me had vanished.

I suspect the Ngnat. She's been asking for tastes lately, often enough that it's plain she's decided that the best tactic in her quest for beer is to try and wear the old man down with repeated requests.

"Can I have some be-ah, Daddee?"

No, honey, you're not old enough.

Five minutes later.

"Can I have some be-ah, Daddee?"

No, not until you're as old as your uncle was when our daddy gave him beer.

"How old is that?"

Seven, I think. Older than you are now, anyway.

Five minutes later.

"Can I have some be-ah, Daddee?"

Go ask your mother.

I'm tempted to give her a little single malt Glenmorangie in the guise of beer the next time she asks. That should put an end to her incessant requests for my alcohol for quite a good while.

It might also have a few repecussions on the maternal side, so maybe I'll save that strategem for a rainy day.

Can't think of a better way to put a kid off alcohol, though. To this day her Uncle Kehaar isn't much of a beer drinker, and when he does drink, it's that horrible low carb crap.

It's sad, really, how parental mistakes echo down through the years.

Kehhar is the black sheep of the family, though. Given the the genes that went into the making of Ngnat from both sides of the family, she'd knock back the neat whiskey (Yes, neat. Only an ass would put ice in his child's scotch), then comment on how recognizable the distinctive esters of the '91 peat harvest were in this particular usquebaugh.

"Reallee a distintif compement to da shewwy wood bawwells, Daddee."

I will give her beer eventually, and wine, though maybe not whiskey, long before she's of legal age in the hope that familiarizing her with them will head off some of the behavioral insanity associated with alcohol and the late teenage years that plagues American society. I suspect that the vast majority of alcohol related incidents on college campuses stem from kids reacting against harsh restrictions by drinking too much too fast, in places unobserved by adults, because those are the only places where they can drink.

Kinds need to learn to handle alcohol just as they need to learn to handle a car, yet as a society we've outlawed that possibility. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather my daughter have her first few beers in the company of boys somewhere where I can watch the both of them rather than in a car at the end of a dirt road where there's no one else around.

And no, I'm not talking about buying her and her friends a keg. That grew out of the twisted impulse of an aging woman to try and be pals with her teenage charge and his friends. I'm not quite that insecure, and I expect I'll have no desire to pal around with any of Ngnat's boyfriends. Ideally I would be a Grand Moff Tarkin to their Alderaan, if you get my drift.

Anyway, as I stated above, the beer of the night is Nethergate Brewery's Old Growler Traditional English Porter, which is.............gone.

Damn that child.

Posted by Bigwig at October 30, 2003 11:31 PM | TrackBack
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bigwig, could you email me? i'm having trouble getting email thru to you. thanks. i am talking to people about organizing some sort of weblog conference in NC, except "conference" makes it sound dull and this should be fun.

Posted by: ed cone at October 31, 2003 11:11 AM

I betcha it was you that finished the beer, so, I think it is unfair to blame Ms Ngnat. You probably had a memory lapse just as you took your final quaff of that fine beer.

Posted by: sid at November 1, 2003 07:37 AM

What about a non-alcohol "beer"? They contain much in the way of B vitamins, which are supposed to tone down irritability. Or so R. Huntford says in his Antartic pole book, "The Last Place on Earth". He was speaking about breads (wheat versus white) but I used his logic when the wife had triplets and was advised to try a beer to stimulate lactation...the irritablity seemed a safe side factor, but alcohol was forbidden as if she were three.

Posted by: RIch at November 1, 2003 05:25 PM
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