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October 25, 2003

Dammit Yankees

Oh dear God, the Marlins have won? Keep an eye out for lava rolling down the street, gargoyles coming to life and pigs flying out of my ass. The end is near.

This is a sad day.......I realize that sympathy is probably not forthcoming.

Posted by Woundwort at October 25, 2003 11:26 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
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Comments

Ha-ha!

Posted by: Nelson Muntz at October 26, 2003 12:18 AM

By "Ha-Ha," did you mean, "Hey man, I'm sorry your team lost, keep your head up?" I guess not.

Posted by: Woundwort at October 26, 2003 12:26 AM

Woundwort, buck up old chap. We're Yankees fans. We oughta be happy no matter what. Why? Lotsa reasons.

1. First off, we're Yankees fans. We've been there, we'll be back. Marv Levy used to tell his Bills players not to celebrate too much when they scored touchdowns. "Act like you've been there before, and you'll be there again, ferchrissakes."

2. We beat the BoSox. Now, I don't think they really rise to the level of being serious rivals. That's for teams like the Dodgers or Giants, or maybe the Cards. Gotta have a serious World Series competitor that we see three or four times - this young Marlins team has some potential. Though they'll be hard to hate, what with their fans' classy behavior.

3. We got beat. We didn't lose. Yankee pitchers were generally at or below the 3.0 era level. Know what 3.0 era means? It means you are going to the Hall of Fame. Put in 12-15 years with a sub-3.0, and you are considered great. The Yankees pitchers, with a couple exceptions, pitched exceptionally well. The Marlins... well, they pitched better, especially Beckett's game 6 classic. We'll be talking about that for 50 years, with admiration.

4. The Yanks didn't deserve to win. You strand 12 men on base, load the bases twice, you don't deserve to win. You load 'em up in the 9th in a tie game, and Aaron Boone comes up with no outs, and you don't have him bunt, with Mariano Rivera in the pen, you are on crack. Naah, the boys didn't do anything really, wrong, they just didn't do all the little things right.

5. We're Yankees fans. I like to think we have a response for those who'd like to tease us. It goes something like: "F*** you, you f***ing f***!" If chanting that that doesn't cheer you up immediately, there's always "f*** you and the billy goat you rode in on", "f*** your mother and your sister too, when they get back from the troop ship", or the ever popular ice hockey cheer (heard at Yankee Stadium from time to time), "Pedro...... Pedro...... Pedro...... YOU SUCK!"

6. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. There's always next year. We'll just have to take it one game at a time, day by day, and good Lord willin', we'll win some games. Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the window. We're just happy to have the opportunity to play this game for a living. Beezebul been belly bell good to me.

Take these cliches, and apply as needed. Then take two Hebrew National Franks, an over-foamy, warm Miller Lite that you paid $7 for, throw a D-cell battery at your neighbor, and call me in the morning.

Posted by: Blackavar at October 26, 2003 04:34 PM
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