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September 30, 2003

Returning Spam from Whence it Came

I just received this spam from somebody who really seems to want to help me make money........oh wait, I mean really wants to take my money. I would just like to encourage all of you to please write this person a sarcastic, evil, mean, whatever email and perhaps clog up his email like he is clogging up ours.


STRICTLY URGENT/CONFIDENTIAL

Please reply to kennethmaputo@excite.com

Date: 30/09/03

Dear Sir,

I am Mr. Kenneth Maputo, a native of Cape Town in South Africa and I am an executive Accountant with the South Africa Department of Transport.

First and foremost, I apologize using this medium to reach you for a transaction/business of this magnitude, but this is due to confidentiality and prompt access reposed on this medium. Be informed that I got your enviable credentials/particulars from the internet.

I have decided to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of the deal described hereunder for the benefit of all parties and hope you will keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction.

Within the Department of Transport where I work as an Executive Accountant and with the co-operation of four other top officials, we have in our possession an overdue payment bills totalling Twenty - Six Million, Four Hundred and twenty six Thousand U. S. Dollars (US$26,426,000.00) which we want to transfer abroad with the assistance and co-operation of a foreign company/individual to receive the said fund on our behalf or a reliable foreign non-company account to receive such funds. More so, we are handicapped in this circumstance, as the South Africa Civil Service Code of Conduct does not allow us to operate foreign account hence your importance in the whole transaction.

This amount (US$26.426m) represents the balance of the total contract value executed on behalf of my Department by a foreign contracting firm, which we the officials over-invoiced deliberately. Though the actual contract cost have been paid to the original contractor, leaving the balance in the tune of the said amount which we have in principles got approval to remit by Telegraphic Transfer (T.T) to any foreign bank account you will provide by going through the Justice Ministry here in South Africa for the transfer of rites and privileges of the former contractor to you.

I have the authority of my partners involved to propose that should you be willing to assist us in the transaction, your share of the sum will be 25% of the US$26.426 million, 70% for us and 5% for taxation and miscellaneous expenses. The business itself is 100% safe and risk free, on your part provided you treat it with utmost secrecy and confidentiality. Also, your area of specialization is not a hindrance to the successful execution of this transaction. I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not disappoint me.

Endeavour to contact me immediately through this email address or my alternative email preferably kennethmaputo@excite.com, whether or not you are interested in this deal. If you are not, it will enable me scout for another foreign partner to carry out this deal. I want to assure you that myself and my partners are in a position to make the payment of this claim possible provided you can give us a very strong assurance and guarantee that our share will be secured and please remember to treat this matter as a very confidential matter, because we will not comprehend with any form of exposure as we are still in active Government Service and remember once again that time is of great essence in this business.

I wait in anticipation of your fullest co-operation.

Yours faithfully,


Mr. Kenneth Maputo.


I wrote him a response:

Dear Mr. Maputo:

I have a deal for you as well. I would like a boat and I would like for you to pay for it. For the small sum of just $10,000, I will act like I am your friend and buy a boat for myself and never invite you out on it. I can't wait to begin this transaction. Please send me money today or else I won't be your buddy and hang out with you.

Your truest friend,

Woundwort

Posted by Woundwort at September 30, 2003 11:29 AM | TrackBack
Postscript:
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