Front page
Silflay Hraka?

Bigwig is a systems administrator at a public university
Hrairoo is the proprietor of a quality used bookstore
Kehaar is.
Woundwort is a professor of counseling at a private university

The Hraka RSS feed

bigwig AT

Friends of Hraka
Daily Pundit
cut on the bias
Meryl Yourish
This Blog Is Full Of Crap
Winds of Change
A Small Victory
Silent Running
Dr. Weevil
Little Green Footballs
Fragments from Floyd
The Feces Flinging Monkey
Dean's World
Little Tiny Lies
The Redsugar Muse
Natalie Solent
From the Mrs.
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
On the Third Hand
Public Nuisance
Not a Fish
Electric Venom
Skippy, The Bush Kangaroo
Common Sense and Wonder
Neither Here Nor There
The Greatest Jeneration
Ipse Dixit
Blog On the Run
Redwood Dragon
Greeblie Blog
Have A Cuppa Tea
A Dog's Life
Iberian Notes
Midwest Conservative Journal
A Voyage to Arcturus
Trojan Horseshoes
In Context
The People's Republic of Seabrook
Country Store
Blog Critics
Chicago Boyz
Hippy Hill News
Kyle Still Free Press
The Devil's Excrement
The Fat Guy
War Liberal
Assume the Position
Balloon Juice
Iron Pen In A Velvet Glove
Freedom Lives
Where Worlds Collide
Knot by Numbers
How Appealing
South Knox Bubba
Heretical Ideas
The Kitchen Cabinet
Bo Cowgill
Raving Atheist
The Short Strange Trip
Shark Blog
Ron Bailey's Weblog
Cornfield Commentary
Northwest Notes
The Blog from the Core
The Talking Dog
WTF Is It Now??
Blue Streak
Smarter Harper's Index
nikita demosthenes
Bloviating Inanities
Sneakeasy's Joint
Ravenwood's Universe
The Eleven Day Empire
World Wide Rant
All American
The Rant
The Johnny Bacardi Show
The Head Heeb
Viking Pundit
Oscar Jr. Was Here
Just Some Poor Schmuck
Katy & Bruce Loebrich
But How's The Coffee?
Roscoe Ellis
Sasha Castel
Susskins Central Dispatch
Josh Heit
Aaron's Rantblog
As I was saying...
Blog O' Dob
Dr. Frank's Blogs Of War
Betsy's Page
A Knob for Brightness
Fresh Bilge
The Politburo Diktat
Drumwaster's rants
Curt's Page
The Razor
An Unsealed Room
The Legal Bean
Helloooo chapter two!
As I Was Saying...
SkeptiLog AGOG!
Tong family blog
Vox Beth
I was thinking
Judicious Asininity
This Woman's Work
Fragrant Lotus
Single Southern Guy
Jay Solo's Verbosity
Snooze Button Dreams
You Big Mouth, You!
From the Inside looking Out
Night of the Lepus
No Watermelons Allowed
From The Inside Looking Out
Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics
Suburban Blight
The SmarterCop
Dog of Flanders
From Behind the Wall of Sleep
Beaker's Corner
Bad State of Gruntledness
Who Tends The Fires
Granny Rant
Elegance Against Ignorance
Say What?
Blown Fuse
Wait 'til Next Year
The Pryhills
The Whomping Willow
The National Debate
The Skeptician
Zach Everson
Geekward Ho
Life in New Orleans
Rotten Miracles
The Biomes Blog
See What You Share
Blog d’Elisson
Your Philosophy Sucks
Watauga Rambler
Socialized Medicine
Verging on Pertinence
Read My Lips
The Flannel Avenger
Butch Howard's WebLog
Castle Argghhh!
Andrew Hofer
Moron Abroad
White Pebble
Darn Floor
Pajama Pundits
Goddess Training 101
A & W
Medical Madhouse
Slowly Going Sane
The Oubliette
American Future
Right Side Redux
See The Donkey
Newbie Trucker
The Right Scale
Running Scared
Ramblings Journal
Focus On Reality
Wyatt's Torch

September 26, 2003

Political Operating Systems

Was at a meeting today discussing our online courseware application's penchant for crashing every 24 hours. Crashing once a day is a four-fold improvement in performance from the weeks previous, but it's still considered horribly unstable.

We know why the app crashes, we just can't do anything about it other than tell it to restart itself on each machine before it gets to a critical state. A planned service outage is slightly better than an unplanned one, but it's still a service outage, and outages on a daily basis are unacceptable no matter what.

Halfway through the meeting I started referring to the app as "Monica."

After my third repetition of the new moniker, the project manager asked me "Why are you calling it Monica?"

Straight faced, I answered. "Because it goes down once a day."

Postscript: I was useless for the rest of the meeting, as I spent the remainder of it slapping political figures and computerese together to see which stuck together.

The Harold Stassen App: Runs constantly, but never successfully.

The Jimmy Carter App: No throughput

The Arianna Huffington: A resource hog. Never displays the same output twice, aside from a regular complaint that every other application on the system is a resource hog. Somewhat similar to

The Robert Byrd: Attempts to divert all system resources to its home directory.

The Dick Cheny: Hides all the critical files on a system, then refuses to let any other application acccess them.

The George Bush: A virus removal program that does not function until attacked. Afterwards, it partially re-configures the viral host machine, as well as any others on the same local network.

The George Bush (Leftist conspiracy version): A simple app. One that does what it is told to do.

The George Bush (UN version): Whatever it is, it doesn't recognize any of our protocols.

The Bill Clinton: A GUI Root application

The Hillary Clinton: A spreadsheet program that thinks it's an OS.

The Tom Delay: Will attempt to rewrite internal character maps in an attempt to control the CPU.

The Denis Kucinich: Emits a shrill whine from the left speaker. Companion program to the Pat Buchanan, which does the same for the right speaker.

The John Kerry: No one knows what it does, and all attempts to view the support documentation end with the reader falling into a deep sleep.

The John Edwards: Spends all of its time in the home directories of other applications, where it attempts to alter the files found there. Though it has access to a large number of system resources, it successfully alters a file to its liking only 3% of the time.

The Chris Lehane: A popup ad, it will serially associate itself with every other application on the system.

The Ted Kennedy: A corrupted driver, unable to handle system bridges.

The Bill Janklow: Another bad driver, it will run until it encounters a kill signal.

The Ronald Reagan: Slowly loses all access to the hard drive.

Posted by Bigwig at September 26, 2003 11:45 AM | TrackBack
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.


Except I think you mean Chris Lehane, the campaign consultant/bombthrower. Dennis Lehane is an author (Mystic River, et al.), and a good one.

Posted by: Lilith at September 26, 2003 07:40 PM

gah. Fixed that.

Posted by: bigwig at September 26, 2003 10:35 PM

Good one, BW.

Posted by: ronbailey at September 29, 2003 06:01 AM

ROTFLMAO!!!!! Excellent!

Posted by: Mary in LA at October 1, 2003 01:08 PM
Post a comment Note: Comments with more than two dashes per line will be blocked as spam.

Remember personal info?