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August 06, 2003

Praises Be To Allah For Showing Her The Light

Citing Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg's impassioned speech to the American Constitution Society on the need for the American Justice system to adopt international law perspectives, the Supreme Court today voted 6-3 to jettison the Constitution in favor of Sharia law, effective immediately.

"Once we decided that foreign attitudes towards the law were more important than the framers' intent, the decision was a natural," said Justice David Souter. "Islam is the fastest growing religion on the planet, so it was obvious which law system was the most popular, and thus the most correct."

Dissenting from the decision were Justices Scalia and Thomas, who were last seen drinking bourbon straight from the bottle in a local watering hole before it was shut down by the newly organized American Religious Authority. Justice Bader Ginsburg also dissented from the decision, saying "This isn't what I meant at....." before she was dragged from the building, beaten, forced into a burkha and imprisoned for general immorality, standing in judgement over men, and being a Jew.

Pat Robertson, whose startlingly well timed conversion to Islam allowed him to be appointed as the first head of the ARA, cited passages from the Koran in sentencing Bader-Ginsburg to death.

"The prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, has laid down a clear set of laws regarding the behavior of women. Justice Ginsberg was in violation of them from the moment the Supreme Court voted to install sharia law. It is not as if she had no warning of what was to come. Certainly Justice O'Connor provided a correct and proper example, one that could have easily been followed."

Former Justice O'Connor, who arrived before the vote clad in a burkha, has since resigned from the Court and directed all questions regarding her vote to her husband, which is only natural and proper. Imam Robertson sang praises to Allah for directing her feet onto the proper path for a woman, then used his authority to dissolve the Supreme Court, as there was no longer any need for the interpretation of law under the new American theocracy.

Former Justice Ginsburg's execution is scheduled for 9 am sharp on Saturday, August 9th, at the Maryland SoccerPlex in Germantown, Maryland. The first 1000 arrivals will all recieve a free Ruth Bader Ginsburg bobblehead doll, now with realistic rear headwound.

Posted by Bigwig at August 6, 2003 12:45 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.
Comments

The unindicted co-conspirators Volokh have something to say on this very topic.

http://volokh.com/2003_08_03_volokh_archive.html#106019068381706270

Very funny, by the way. It's almost as bitter and nasty as something I might write, and funnier too.

Posted by: Blackavar at August 6, 2003 02:18 PM

That's just beeyootiful. Heh.

Posted by: eric at August 7, 2003 09:32 AM

I've said it before and I'll say it again- you can't fight evil with a macaroni duck.

Posted by: Scipio at August 7, 2003 05:50 PM
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