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November 05, 2002

The top exhibitors at the

The top exhibitors at the Baghdad International Trade Fair.

Shrapnel "R" Us - Since becoming a public company in 1991, Shrapnel "R" Us , Inc. has built its reputation as an authority on shrapnel and shards. We are a market share leader in the largest markets in which we operate, including Mosul and Basra. In Baghdad, our largest market, we are the only true nationwide freestanding destination twisted shards of metal store.

Bed, Ba'ath, and Beyond Bunkers - For those who demand the highest level of comfort in their underground refuges

Mistress Subha's Instruments of Discipline Warehouse Club - Mistress Subha's is Iraq's leading members-only warehouse. We offer our 1 member exceptional value on name-brand merchandise at "members only" prices for both business and personal use.

PWOT mustache wax

Unconditional Surrender for Dummies Bookstand - Offering the authoritative French version, personally autographed by General Henri Philippe Petain, with a new foreword by Jacques Chirac

Sandburger Helper - The helping hand moms rely on to prepare skillet dinners now offers a hand in making favorite oven meals, including lasandgna, dirtloaf and leather and biscuits. Preparation time for new Sandburger Helper® Oven Favorites® meal kits is minimal, so any night of the week families can enjoy classic comfort foods straight from the oven. Hamburger Helper Oven Favorites offer eight easy-to-make, family-pleasing dinners. Choose from Sandburger Helper, Leather Helper® or Tunic Helper® Oven Favorites varieties.

Victoria's Burkha - Now with Man-Pleasing® ankle windows!

International House of Anthrax - brought to you courtesy of the U.S. Postal Service

Banana Republic - Because we're fond of irony

Scott Ritters' Express Mail-Order U.N. Inspectors - When you absolutely need absolution, overnight.

Build-a-Bomb Workshop - Fun for the whole family! Build and personalize your very own explosive! Choose from our extensive collection of Black powder, Semtex and fuels. Coming soon; U-235!

The New Iraqi Army - From the people who brought you the emperor's new clothes (under exclusive contract to the Western Media)

Haagen Gas - Offering 32 flavors of premium chemical weapons and sorbets in a variety of incarnations, from cones and sundaes to grenades.

Chick Fillet - The Arabic man's knife shop, bearer of the coveted Qusay Hussein Seal of Approval

Organized Dying - Organized Dying is a one-stop, destination shopping experience that features a wide selection of storage and organization products for all areas of the crypt and mausoleum. Customers find every conceivable urn, coffin and storage item, problem-solving tool (Crowbars for the portly lady, mop and bucket for Iraqi Tank crews) or product, conveniently displayed in impressive 20,000-30,000 square open market. At Organized Dying, customers find practical solutions to their organizational problems and associates are trained to help, making death seem less overwhelming and more fun.

Slaughtery Barn - The children's division of Organized Dying, Slaughtery Barn provides coffin furnishings and materials designed to delight and inspire the imagination. As a chip off the old block, our collection has inherited Organized Dying's comfortable, well-designed aesthetic. Every Slaughtery Barn design is guided by a careful regard for child burial standards. Join us 3:00 pm every weekday for our Kid Lid® coffin painting sessions and let your son or daughter personalize the coffin of their choice! You'll rest easier in your windowless cell knowing that the sightless eyes of the child the Baathists shot down in front of you will stare forever at a painting they made!

Al-Qaeda Diamond Distributors - Because diamonds are forever, and blood-covered ones are cheap.

Prosthetics Unlimited - formerly Uday's House of Legs

Smugglers Cove - Trading oil for nuclear materials since 1985

Catering by Taste of Takrit

Posted by Bigwig at November 5, 2002 12:12 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.
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