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November 06, 2002

Carnival of the Vanities #7

You know, there nothing quite as exciting as discovering that a post is due up in 6 minutes and you haven't even written the intro. I'd dazzle you with some fancy footwork, but not only did I spend far too much time following the mid-term elections, I've taken full possession of my Toddler's head cold. I was never sick before I had a kid; now I spend my healthy days jumping at sniffles, washing my hands incessantly and cleaning every surface in the house with a bacterial wipe that I know will do nothing but help to evolve a race of superbugs on my kitchen counters. I'll wake up one day tied down to my bed by the rubbery strands of gigantic slime molds domesticated by the great-great-great-great-great grandkids of an E.coli bacterium that saw me destroy the best cells of his generation. I'll be living Howard Hughes' worst nightmare; shedding virii and leaving a trail of slime wherever I go, with a dulled and witless brain that comes up with ever clunkier segues, like

Speaking of infectious......

skippy the bush kangaroo - deconstructing neville - for us to be neville chamberlain, hussein has to be hitler, and a very specific hitler: a hitler who already has invaded and occupied countries and is posed to do the same again. a hitler with economic and military power to do so. a hitler that threatens immediate war.

Shark Blog - Goebbels with a Pretty Face - PLO propagandist Diana Buttu-- shameless flirt, cynical exploiter of well-intentioned Useful Idiots, ardent practitioner of Joseph Goebbels' "Big Lie" theory of public relations, and all-around fabulous babe -- is on a speaking tour of the United States this month.

Big Iron
SouthKnox Bubba - Gear Heads - He was driving some sissy little Japanese car with odd little tires and wheels and a bunch of ugly gewgaws and gimcracks bolted on. It was painted up to look like some sort of cheap carnival ride and accompanied by that ubiquitous thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of your standard issue multi-megawatt brain scrambler "sound" system. It sounded like a two-cycle chainsaw with no muffler powering a rolling industrial strength metal stamping machine, and looked like something you would expect to see a hundred Barnum and Bailey clowns piling out of when it stopped. - Monorails - Old-fashioned science fiction cities always seem to be full of monorails; a generation or two ago they were seen as the mass transit of the future. As a child watching Gerry Anderson's Thunderbirds, I was enthralled by the vision of aerial monorails replacing the London Tube, and cities linked by high-speed intercity monorails. 'Serious' transport publications presented a similar vision. Two rails was the past, one rail was the future!

Bloggin' Bloggin' Bloggin'
Poet & Peasant - Sensitivities - A week or so back I got an email from another friend. It caught me by surprise. He forwarded me that Guardian article by Woody Harrelson that so many in the blogosphere have been making fun of. I hardly knew what to say. Here was a friend whom I considered to be sensible and intelligent (and in fact I still do) and he was forwarding me this ridiculous piece of crap along with a note that clearly suggested that he thought the article was worth taking seriously

a small victory - meet the new boss - same as the old boss - I may come off like a blood thirsty hawkish mean-spirited, belligerent lunatic sometimes because I am.

The Coming Plague
The Safety Valve- Smallpox vaccination...yes or no? - Well, hepatitis B is far less deadly and contagious than smallpox, and the vaccine is required of schoolchildren. Twenty million doses had been administered by 1999, and there were 440 deaths associated with those vaccinations, making hepatitis B vaccination possibly 22 times as dangerous as CDC's estimates of the dangers of national smallpox vaccination. Again, this is now a required childhood vaccine.

Final Frontier
AMCGLTD.COM - Saturn Screwup - The gas escaped with such force that it was quite visible next to the Saturn V on the pad. A giant turbulent column of gas blasting into the sky is actually kind of hard to miss. Because of the lighting, you could see the turbulence on the edges of the column.

Inside Europe: Iberian Notes - The Christmas Lottery - the numbers themselves are selected by, get this, blind children from a special school in Madrid; that, we suppose, is about as innocent as a hand can get.

Meryl Yourish - The Saudis Are Afraid of a Little Girl - This is the grip of the Saudi dictatorship on the information available to its people, brought to you by the government, using a tool made in America. This is the way to keep a nation brainwashed, and tyrants in power—by blocking the people's access to free and flowing information. China does it. Saudi Arabia does it. Too many nations do it.

Iron Eyes Cody Has a Posse
Fragments ~ From Floyd - Trashing of the Commons - Last night, a car drove down our single-lane gravel road in the small hours, radio blaring out wide-open gut-thudding percussion, if not entertaining the occupant of the car, at least providing an acoustic massage to his abdominal organs by the sheer volume of it. Being oblivious to the existence of others who might not share his taste in 'music' at this hour, I am pretty sure that this same blissful ignorant was also the one who deposited the Chicken McNuggets wrapper/box/bag further on up our lane last night, with never so much as a twinge of a thought about it.

Jack Handy Also Has a Posse
The Road to Surfdom - Silly Things Randians Say - If, in fact, I choose to help someone--that is, I do it because I want to and not because some law or other compulsion has forced me to--then I am obviously exercising my free, individual choice. This means that, for whatever reason, I can choose to help someone, and that further, at some other point I can choose to stop helping them.

Heretical Ideas - Randomness, Causation and Probability - The first thing that I'd have to point out here is that causation is a function of temporality. It would be meaningless to speak of causes and effects if there were no time. And, in fact, there are things in this universe that do not experience temporality (things that travel at the speed of light, for instance).

Philosoblog - Conservatism - If you think God is the basis of morality, then you're definitely a reactionary.

Materials Science
Clubbeaux - Performance enhancements? - Tennis players have been known to take performance-enhancing supplements – steroids and the like to improve their game. Clubbeaux thinks it's time the women's tour started cracking down on players such as Uzbekistan's Iroda Tulyaganova abusing silicone.

Media Bash
Sine Qua Non Pundit - The Scourge of Richard Cohen - After another in a string of abysmal losses for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' expansion franchise, head coach John McKay was asked by a reporter what he thought of his "I'm execution, and he replied, “I’m all for it."

Poli Sci
a small victory - get your memorial popcorn right here! - Let it be known that if anyone is seen eating a hot dog or playing with a beach ball at my funeral, I will haunt you to your last dying day. The music is fine, the laughter and applause are nice. But the first person who starts the wave will be hearing a lot of chain-rattling and spooky noises coming from their closet at night.

The Kitchen Cabinet - That Time of Year - Any elementary electoral scholar can draw you a line graph on which it can be quickly and easily demonstrated via dynamic game theory that the goal of an election is to put yourself as close to the middle of the spectrum as possible. I am reminded of a very simple example where hotdog vendors compete for location on a strip of beach. Everyone wants to be as close to the middle as possible, so as to garner all of the business to one side.

Ipse Dixit - Frivolity on the Ballot - Georgians will decide today whether or not to amend their state Constitution to "establish a program of dog and cat sterilization funded by special license plates."

See You On The Funny Pages
Amish Tech Support - Fisking the Fridge - *beep* "PSSST... Electrofridge 1... you there?"
*beep* "Electrofridge 2, I'm here. Wazzaup?"
*beep* "Wazzaup!"
*beep* "Wazzaup!"
*beep* "Let me try to ping Electrofridge 3 at the Smith's..."
*beep* "Wazzaup!"
*beep* "Wazzaup!"

MadKane - Handling Harvey - DUBYA: I just told ya -- I'm not dumpin Harvey! Ya really should get that eye looked at.
CHENEY: My eye's fine, damn it! Look! We're not dumping the guy. We're just mulling over the idea of asking him to resign. (Wink, wink)
DUBYA: Does it hurt?
DUBYA: Yur eye. Does it hurt?
CHENEY: No! But you're giving me chest pains.

Solonor's Ink Well - Arise My Minions! To Arms! - Remember the little interview I did for them that I was so very excited about? I know I mentioned it at least once... Anyway, they ran their stupid little story without me! ME! Best. Blogger. Ever.™

Raving Atheist - Fate of Universe Hangs on Mary's Sex Life - Top Vatican officials warn that the universe may be imperiled if it turns out, as the evidence suggests, that Mary was dirty filthy whore who had sex with her husband.

Ravenwood's Universe - Americans for Chicken Safety - To truly stop cock fighting, you need to address the source of the problem. Chickens. As long as anyone can simply walk into a store and purchase a chicken, no one is safe. I propose a state-wide blanket chicken ban to stop all cock fighting. At the very least, you should need a license to purchase a chicken, and there should be a three day waiting period. That will stop any spontaneous cock fights from starting up.

Silflay Hraka - The Top Exhibitors at the Baghdad International Trade Fair - Shrapnel "R" Us - Since becoming a public company in 1991, Shrapnel "R" Us , Inc. has built its reputation as an authority on shrapnel and shards. We are a market share leader in the largest markets in which we operate, including Mosul and Basra. In Baghdad, our largest market, we are the only true nationwide freestanding destination twisted shards of metal store.

Posted by Bigwig at November 6, 2002 12:05 AM | TrackBack
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