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November 22, 2002

Updating Mencken "A Puritan is

Updating Mencken

"A Puritan is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be having a good time." --Henry Louis Mencken

Not that we don't have Puritans today, but they've been marginalized, at least for a while. As the Miss World riots in Nigeria have shown, they've also been surpassed. So let's update the quote.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, a woman might be the equal of a man.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, his wife might speak to the postman.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be looking at breasts.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that those breasts might be his wife's, so he goes home and beats her on general principles.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, a man might be kissing another man.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, a little girl might be trying to escape a fire without putting her hijab first.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, a Jew might not be living in fear.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, a girl might have a clitoris.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be having a good time, who is not a Muslim.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be writing what they pleased.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be reading what they pleased.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be thinking as they pleased.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, a woman might be on top.

A Muslim is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might not be using their Semtex to kill Jewish toddlers.

Well, let's see. That took all of....4 minutes. Feel free to send us yours, I'll post them as they come in.

And for those Muslims who feel that the above statements are vicious, untrue slander, two words.

Fuck you.

You've kept silent in the face of evil, and let your religion be defined by rock-throwing Nigerians, a Taliban that shot women in the back of the head for teaching their daughters to read, men who think Allah wants them to blow up babies on buses and dancers in discos, by the Wahabists who bankroll Al-Qaeda and by Iranian clerics who sentence war veterans to death for questioning their rule.

You can whine about the crusades as much as you want, but the fact is when people think of Christianity, they don't think about suicide bombers and terrorists.

You can whine about the Occupation as much as you want, but the fact is when people think of Judaism, they don't think about suicide bombers and terrorists.

You can whine about Kashmir as much as you want, but the fact is when people think of Hinduism, they don't think about suicide bombers and terrorists.

When people think of Islam, they think about suicide bombers and terrorists. They think about death. Islam isn't the Religion of Peace, it's the religion of Rest in Peace.

And unless you speak up, loudly, and often, unless you risk your life in defense of your religion against those who have made it the Religion of Death, then your brothers in the Ummah will die.

Because we're going to kill them.

Posted by Bigwig at November 22, 2002 07:44 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
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