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December 31, 2002

I Will Be Your Larry,

I Will Be Your Larry, If You Wish

Silflay Hraka, one of the The Most Intriguing Bloggers of 2002?

Zod: Must have been kind of a lean year. Gonna stuff the box?
Maybe enough to keep us out of dead last.
Zod: There's a nice attitude. 'Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me fake the results so I don't lose as badly?"
When did you stop being id and start being superego?
Zod: It was getting crowded down there. You move in, I move out. That's how it works.
Stupid poll. Stupid popularity contest.
Zod: That middle school student council race scar you forever, or what?
Dammit, Larry picked his nose in public and flicked it at people! There's no way I should've lost to....I mean, no, no it didn't.
Zod: No, not at all. The fact that every D&D campaign you ever ran featured a retarded syphilitic kobold by the same name was just a total coincidence.
That kobold's name was Laeri, asswipe
Zod: Such an impenetrable disguise.
It's my story, and I'm standing by it.
Zod: As long as you don't stand on it. It's far to thin to hold such a vast great bulk as yourself.
Goddammit! I'm not fat, I'm big-boned.
Cartman: Hey!
Zod: You! Out!
You want crowded, I'll give you crowded.
Cartman: Quit ripping me off!
Badger: Get in line, fat boy.
Highlander: There can be only one!
Zod: Ok, ok! You're a pleasant, well-adjusted person who isn't overly competitive.
Badger: Larry?
Zod: Hellooo? He's starting to froth in here! You don't want him out any more than I do.
Badger: Are you Larry?
Oh, alright. Larry's dead, Badger.
Badger: Dead?
Yes, dead. He fell out of a pickup truck that was doing donuts on the football field his junior year, and the back wheel crushed his skull.
Badger: Really?
Cartman: Sweeeeeet.
Yes, you can all go back to sleep.
Cartman: Can I have a candy bar later?
Yes, later.
..............................
Zod: Well, that was closer than you...
Badger: You're sure?
Zod: Ahhh!
Yes, I'm sure.
..............................
Zod: You think that was intriguing enough?
I certainly hope so.

Posted by Bigwig at December 31, 2002 01:31 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.
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