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April 30, 2003

The Compleat Dumbass PETA activists

The Compleat Dumbass

PETA activists are demanding that anglers stop fishing after a British study determined that fish can feel pain after all.

So fish can feel pain. Who cares? Of course they can feel pain. Worms feel pain too, as anyone who has ever watched one writhe on a hook could tell you, but I don't see any PETA protests for them. Every organism above a certain level of complexity can feel pain. Pain is an evolutionary defense against things like swimming into an underwater lava flow, or repeatedly ramming into sharp coral in an attempt to catch a particularly tasty shrimp.

PETA is apparently under the misapprehension that the "Fish can't feel pain" is something all fishermen believe, rather than the convenient lie they tell tenderhearted children so as to get on with the fishing. A species of fish could be pulled screaming out of the surf and it wouldn't make a difference, except that more fisherman would be angling for them.

"Hooked one of them screaming trout on a No.8 Tsetse fly the other day, Clem. Sucker had perfect pitch, hit a F sharp a hunnert yards out and kept it up all the way in. All I need now is a High C and an A flat, and Billy down to the Taxidermy shop can finish mah organ."

Once you get down to a particular level of stupidity, PETA is wasting its time, if not undermining previously won victories. Saving monkeys from lab tests may be one thing*, but the lower down the intelligence scale on goes, the less people care, and eventually they'll start to question you about the monkeys if you keep throwing tantrums about not bothering the clams.

*though not for me. If hooking up Colobus genitals to a car battery has even the slightest chance of curing cancer, teenage acne, or hangnails for that matter, I say shock that monkey.

Posted by Bigwig at April 30, 2003 11:47 AM | TrackBack
Postscript:
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