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June 06, 2003

Coming Soon To A Blockbuster Near You

Some of the games played at Hala Hussein's birthday party, now available on video CD.

Pin the Tail on the Shi'ite - Heated hatpins dipped in ethyl alcohol have never been more exciting! Digital Dolby sound technology means that you won't miss a single gibber, wail, or piteous moan!

Musical Electrical Chairs - In a tingling twist on a classic party activity, not only is one chair removed after each round (with the loser shot in the back of the head by the cutest birthday girl you've ever seen), but one of the remaining is electrified. Watch hapless Marsh Arabs squirm and sweat as the smell of cooked piggie fills the air!

The Eyeball Stomp - Why bother blowing up balloons when there's an endless supply of eyeballs coming in from Baghdad's prisons? Hilarity fills the screen as the participants shoot them across the floor like watermelon seeds!

Blindman's Bluff - Played in conjunction with the eyeball stomp! Any player who recovers both his eyes before they're stomped flat gets a pardon!

Duck Duck Noose - Catch the duck or proceed to the next game; Hangman!, played on a life size gallows made from Legos.

Piñata Party - Every child has one of their own! Played with a 5 iron and the unlucky participants of Hangman; the first child to splatter the audience with organ parts wins an Uzi and a lifetime supply of ammunition!

Gordian Human Knot - Ten Kurds have ten minutes to untangle themselves or sword wielding preteens solve the problem for them. Hilarity abounds when Saddam lets the excited swordbearers go two minutes before the deadline!

Saddam Says - Uh-oh Hala! Daddy didn't say Saddam says! Watch Hala decide which of her little friends she likes the least!

Uday's jewels - Uday has hidden weapons of mass destruction somewhere in the Middle East. Can you find them?

Rock, Paper, Sarin - The classic children's game of elimination, played in a locked gas chamber! Best two out of three wins, and only the winner gets a key!

Kickballs - Last prisoner to grunt in agony wins!

Charades - Hans Blix and Kofi Annan's personal favorite! Filmed in conjunction with Uday's Jewels, Charades is a scavenger hunt played with UN weapons inspectors where the treasures are moved constantly, then finally shipped over the border to safety.

Due to technological problems, Democratic leaders and Labor party activists are unable to see any parts of the cd other than the initial stages of Charades, which is presented as a Public Television documentary narrated by Bill Moyers and Sean Penn.

Posted by Bigwig at June 6, 2003 01:02 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.
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