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June 28, 2003

Behold The Power Of Snickers

Left work early today to pick up my grandmother at the airport. She'd ridden down to Atlanta to see the Big Dumb Cousin with parents of same. They were going on, she was coming back, and hadn't yet met the inimitable Scotty M besides. This was something she desired greatly to do, and since I'm the relative closest to the airport, the stars seemed to favor the meeting.

Bad stars. Bad, bad stars. I was supposed to meet her at the gate. My name was on a list, I was told, and simply showing my picture id at the ticket counter would get me the magic pass that allowed me access to the inner sanctums.

I showed my picture id, but alas, my name was on no list, an event which caused a large amount of bureaucratic clucking of tongues and clicking of mice. As I was there in plenty of time, or so I thought, I focused my energy on counting Homeland Security employees, who were as ubiquitous as crows.

All in all, there were 15 people devoted to protecting the homeland in the small section of terminal RDU assigned to Southwest and AirTrans. There were 4 people devoted to sending travelers on their way, a ratio that illustrates why everyone should take the train.

Did I say devoted? I meant somewhat devoted......on Tuesdays......just before lunch. Eventually, they told me that no, I could not meet my aged and infirm relative at the gate. I was welcome to try baggage claim though, as the plane had landed some time ago.

Fortunately, Aged and Infirm was at the baggage claim, having been wheeled there by a kind stranger after the airport flunky who was supposed to have done so went AWOL. We inhabited the baggage claim for most of the next hour, the Air Trans luggage hauler having broken down at the halfway point between the terminal and the plane.

I learned this fact just after I'd learned another, that the Air Trans baggage claim has a remarkably inclined floor, and that little old ladies in wheelchairs can pick up quite a head of steam if one lets go of the wheelchair handles at the wrong time, like for instance if one has turned around to see if the little old lady's luggage is on some other conveyer belt.

I grabbed the chair just before she made the acquaintance of a post, and apologized profusely when she rather querulously asked why I was pushing her so fast.

Half an hour later the luggage arrived. I placed it in the back of the car, chivvied Aged into the front, then took the back roads home, avoiding entirely the 13 mile dead stop traffic jam that Interstate 40 had become.

Scotty M took to her immediately, falling asleep on her just as if he had all his life.

Ngnat took a little longer, eyeing Aged suspiciously while the Sainted Wife and I rather futiley reminded her that she had met Great Mammaw before, but warmed up noticeably after being presented with the dollar, roll of butterscotch Lifesavers, and half a Snickers that Aged dredged up from her handbag.

I asked her just before bedtime if she had fun with Great Mammaw today.

"She was scary."

Well, she's old, and old people look a little scary sometimes. She loves you very much, though. Did you like your Snickers?

"Yes. I love her, too."

Posted by Bigwig at June 28, 2003 12:21 AM | TrackBack
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Beautiful! You're lucky to still have your grandma. I still miss mine.

Posted by: Fran at June 28, 2003 02:10 PM

Whoohooo. Is this a first? The introduction of two, count 'em, pseudonymed relatives in one post? Good work BW.

Posted by: Big dumb cousin at June 30, 2003 10:26 AM

Good show! It's great that your grandma is still around to enjoy your kids. And Ngnat is adorable! Ya done good, bubba.

Posted by: Steve at July 1, 2003 11:14 AM

Where can I find someone to email?

Posted by: sara S at November 6, 2004 06:32 AM
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