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June 14, 2003

Message Of The Day 6/13/2003

Today, via their handy web form for cowards and informers, I sent the Saudi Religious Police the following message:

From: Mohammed Ali Ali Ocksen Phrie

City: Jeddah

Email: disapprove@hesbah.com

Sin: Flirting

To whom it may concern.

Peace be upon you, and upon the loins of your Filipino servants, may they spring forth anew each morning! My name is Mohammed Ali Ali Ocksen Phrie, and I am writing to complain about Dr Abdullah bin Muhammad bin Ibrahim Al Al-Sheikh, who habitually passes gas of the most noisy and foul type in front of myself at daily prayers. Every day, five times a day it's

God is great. Braaaaap!
I bear witness that there none worthy of worship except God. Braaaaap
I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of God. Braaaaap
Come to prayer. Braaaaap
Come to felicity. Braaaaap
Prayer is better than sleep. Braaaaap
Our prayers are now ready. Our prayers are now ready. Braaaaap
God is great. Braaaaap
There is none worthy of worship except God. Braaaaap

There are times when I cannot hear the blessed imam for the noise and cannot see him for the tears in my eyes. The expectorations of the minister's rectum torment me horribly, and is it not written that noisy gas is an affront to the prophet, pee be upon him?

I could stand the pain were it not for the distinctive odor of the sperm of a goat, both fresh and digested, that emanate from the minister at all times. Please remonstrate with him, else I will be forced to become a Baptist to assuage my lust.

--------------------------------

If you'd like to send a message of your own, a handy list of names to use can be found here, and directions for the form are here. Remember to leave us a copy!

Thanks to the folks at Fartgreetings.com for the use of their wavs.

Posted by Bigwig at June 14, 2003 04:34 PM | TrackBack
Postscript:
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