Front page
Archive
Silflay Hraka?


Bigwig is a systems administrator at a public university
Hrairoo is the proprietor of a quality used bookstore
Kehaar is.
Woundwort is a professor of counseling at a private university

The Hraka RSS feed

Email
bigwig AT nc.rr.com

Friends of Hraka
InstaPundit
Daily Pundit
cut on the bias
Meryl Yourish
This Blog Is Full Of Crap
Winds of Change
A Small Victory
Silent Running
Dr. Weevil
Little Green Footballs
ColdFury
Oceanguy
Fragments from Floyd
VodkaPundit
Allah
The Feces Flinging Monkey
the skwib
Dean's World
Little Tiny Lies
The Redsugar Muse
Sperari
Natalie Solent
From the Mrs.
ErosBlog
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
On the Third Hand
Public Nuisance
Not a Fish
Rantburg
AMCGLTD
WeckUpToThees!
Electric Venom
Skippy, The Bush Kangaroo
Common Sense and Wonder
Neither Here Nor There
Wizbang!
Bogieblog
ObscuroRant
RocketJones
The Greatest Jeneration
Ravenwolf
Ipse Dixit
TarHeelPundit
Blog On the Run
blogatron
Redwood Dragon
Notables
Greeblie Blog
Have A Cuppa Tea
A Dog's Life
IMAO
Zonitics.com
Iberian Notes
Midwest Conservative Journal
A Voyage to Arcturus
HokiePundit
Trojan Horseshoes
In Context
dcthornton.blog
The People's Republic of Seabrook
Country Store
Blog Critics
Chicago Boyz
Hippy Hill News
Kyle Still Free Press
The Devil's Excrement
The Fat Guy
War Liberal
Assume the Position
Balloon Juice
Iron Pen In A Velvet Glove
IsraPundit
Freedom Lives
Where Worlds Collide
Knot by Numbers
How Appealing
South Knox Bubba
Heretical Ideas
The Kitchen Cabinet
Dustbury.com
tonecluster
Bo Cowgill
mtpolitics.net
Raving Atheist
The Short Strange Trip
Shark Blog
Hoplites
Jimspot
Ron Bailey's Weblog
Cornfield Commentary
Testify!
Northwest Notes
pseudorandom
The Blog from the Core
Ain'tNoBadDude
CroMagnon
The Talking Dog
WTF Is It Now??
Blue Streak
Smarter Harper's Index
nikita demosthenes
Bloviating Inanities
Sneakeasy's Joint
Ravenwood's Universe
The Eleven Day Empire
World Wide Rant
All American
Pdawwg
The Rant
The Johnny Bacardi Show
The Head Heeb
Viking Pundit
Mercurial
Oscar Jr. Was Here
Just Some Poor Schmuck
Katy & Bruce Loebrich
But How's The Coffee?
Roscoe Ellis
Foolsblog
Sasha Castel
Dodgeblogium
Susskins Central Dispatch
DoggerelPundit
Josh Heit
Attaboy
Aaron's Rantblog
MojoMark
As I was saying...
Blog O' Dob
Dr. Frank's Blogs Of War
Betsy's Page
A Knob for Brightness
Fresh Bilge
The Politburo Diktat
Drumwaster's rants
Curt's Page
The Razor
An Unsealed Room
The Legal Bean
Helloooo chapter two!
As I Was Saying...
SkeptiLog AGOG!
Tong family blog
Vox Beth
Velociblog
I was thinking
Judicious Asininity
This Woman's Work
Fragrant Lotus
DaGoddess
Single Southern Guy
Caerdroia
GrahamLester.Com
Jay Solo's Verbosity
TacJammer
Snooze Button Dreams
Horologium
You Big Mouth, You!
From the Inside looking Out
Night of the Lepus
No Watermelons Allowed
From The Inside Looking Out
Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics
Suburban Blight
Aimless
The SmarterCop
Dog of Flanders
From Behind the Wall of Sleep
Beaker's Corner
Bad State of Gruntledness
Who Tends The Fires
Granny Rant
Elegance Against Ignorance
Moxie.nu
Eccentricity
Say What?
Blown Fuse
Wait 'til Next Year
The Pryhills
The Whomping Willow
The National Debate
The Skeptician
Zach Everson
MonkeyWatch
Geekward Ho
Argghhh!!!
Life in New Orleans
Rotten Miracles
Fringe
The Biomes Blog
illinigirl
See What You Share
Truthprobe
Blog d’Elisson
Your Philosophy Sucks
Watauga Rambler
Socialized Medicine
Consternations
Verging on Pertinence
Read My Lips
ambivablog
Soccerdad
The Flannel Avenger
Butch Howard's WebLog
Castle Argghhh!
Andrew Hofer
kschlenker.com
Moron Abroad
White Pebble
Darn Floor
Wizblog
tweedler
Pajama Pundits
BabyTrollBlog
Cadmusings
Goddess Training 101
A & W
Medical Madhouse
Slowly Going Sane
The Oubliette
American Future
Right Side Redux
See The Donkey
Newbie Trucker
The Right Scale
Running Scared
Ramblings Journal
Focus On Reality
Wyatt's Torch

June 19, 2003

Message of the Day, 6/19/2003

Today, via their handy web form for cowards and informers, I sent the Saudi Religious Police the following message:

From: Fouad bin Abdul Salaam bin Muhammad Al Farsy

City: Riyadh

Email: disapprove@hesbah.com

Sin: Other

Greetings and salutations to you, small warriors of Allah. Truly, God is great in finding a role for those of his followers too intellectually craven to negotiate the vagaries and complications of the world head on.

My name is Fouad bin Abdul Salaam bin Muhammad Al Farsy, and I wish to report my colleague Dr Muhammad bin Ali Al-Fayez, the Minister of Civil Service for his most foul practice of splattering the floors of the public toilets in Riyadh with copious amounts of urine, such that it is impossible to relieve oneself without the staining of garments, which must be necessarily lowered in order to void the wastes in a quick and efficient manner

Many are the times when I have made haste to a public toilet in our fair city upon feeling the furious knocking of the turtlehead, only to find that I am faced with the Hobbesian choice of fouling my garments from within or of letting them rest in the noxious leavings of the Minister. Many are the times when his effluvia have ruined a perfectly good corset.

I am convinced of the Minister's guilt in this manner, having made a study of the various properties of urine from an early age. The Al-Fayez urine is characterized by a frequent cloudiness caused by sperm remaining within the urethra. This is the calling card of the chronic masturbator, something the Minister's family has been known for since the time of the Prophet. "As sticky as the tents of Al-Fayez" said our ancestors, and the phrase is as true to life now as it was then.

Please remonstrate with him, as I am now forced to wear the corsets of my wife until a new shipment arrives from Ann Summers, and they bind me in odd places. My constant shifting in cabinet meetings has drawn the notice of Prince Sultan bin Abdul Aziz, and I fear he thinks I am flirting with him.

May the Almighty guide you vigilantly down the paths to his garden of righteousness, the very bowers of which are populated with houris both of surpassing beauty and extreme muteness. I pray that we may meet there in a time to come, to frolic and dance nude together in the promised warm golden showers of Allah.
___________________

If you'd like to send a message to the Mutaween of your very own, a handy list of names to use can be found here, and directions for the form, as well as the reasons for the Messages of the Day, are here. Remember to leave us a copy!

A list of all the Messages of the Day can be found here.

Posted by Bigwig at June 19, 2003 11:52 AM | TrackBack
Postscript:
First time visitor to House Hraka? Wondering if everything we produce could possibly be as brilliant/stupid/evil/pedantic/insipid/inspired as the post you just read? Check out the Hraka Essentials, the (mostly) reader-selected guide to Hraka's best posts, and decide for yourself.
Comments

These are really well written. Just the right mix for the message IMO.

Best to come...the Friday night beer post with Hassan Ben Sober?

Posted by: Stephen at June 19, 2003 04:14 PM
Post a comment Note: Comments with more than two dashes per line will be blocked as spam.









Remember personal info?